Ugh

     As of now I have to make a decision. I have to make a decision on whether to apply for the internship program where I would be a first year teacher this fall, or continue you my education and just participate in student teaching, which is a 3 month commitment, graduate, and be on with my life.
      With the internship I could be an actually teacher, with my own class, my own rules, and my own students. I would get full health benefits, a year of teaching under my belt, and the experience of really knowing or not if teaching is for me.
     Student teaching would be me staying in my regular routine, finish my senior of college, teach for three months, while continuing to work at probably Emergency Essentials, graduate, and move on with life.
I don't know what to do.
     When I think about doing the internship I get pitting feeling in my stomach but then when I think about not doing it, I get the same feeling as if I'm letting myself down, or letting my future family down. I really don't know what I want, or what God wants me to do. I think that I have made a decision to do the internship, but I still haven't received an answer as to whether that is the correct decision for me or not and it's driving me nuts!

I constantly have these questions running through my head:

Can I really do this?
Would I be able to be a teacher?

Would I be able to think up all those lesson plans?

What makes teaching seem so hard?

So difficult?
What if I fail

What if I don't do my best?

What if teaching isn't what God meant when he told me to pursue education?

Why does receiving revelation have to be so difficult sometimes ? 

Why can't I just be told what to do?

I know I wouldn't follow it ...I'm a hard head. That's why he doesn't tell me up front. 

UGH! I'm so frustrated.

I don't know what to do.