Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Savior

My spirit is on a low
I feel sickness in my bones
Ones from regret and unanswerable pride
Something to match the tears that shed when the eyes fall down
Nothing to find that conquers the self made decision
to fall
To fall by oneself and no other is a deceit against the soul
To have no other means of reciprocation but soulful terror and loss
Nothing is worth fighting for
Nothing is worth living for if you haven't a Savior
Nothing is worth accomplishing if you only use the time after to delve deeper into despair
This time was different, it was more regretful than any I have encounter since then
It was damning, it was all me
Satan didn't need to prod or pick at my thoughts
all he did was sit back and watch
He is a cunning one, slowly delving into the hearts of man
bringing out the wroth in them
Watch your every step for you will see him waiting behind every corner
Every tree, Every living thing that is good he has a second thought that can deceive
Watch your step especially the footprints
Help meld them into one by clinging to Christ and begging him
to carry you
Only then will you find true happiness and be torn and saved from the grips of hell
Only then will you find peace and joy for the son of perdition will be gone
"Leave him behind and do not look back, fear not little flock
for I will be on your right hand and on your left to lift you up
when you have been knocked down
whether it be of your own accord or the tempting of Satan,"
there is always room for a Savior, all you have to do is let me in
Let him in is as simple as taking a breath, you must take the breath to take the next step
with Him.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I've hit it...hard

I've finally hit the "transition" period from off the mission
Where you finally "convert" from missionary to normal human being
It hurts...a lot
I was trying to hold on to Nauvoo as tight as I could, I subconsciously thought:
"If I just wear what I wore there, ate what I ate there, said what I said there...It will come back"
Have you ever heard the thought, "On a mission is the time where God has the most opportunity to get to know you." ?
That mission was amazing.
I am a released but slightly returned missionary
I have fallen back into various (grrr) practices that I wanted to be rid of
I have changed in someways but I am still...
Just Plain Brianna
and it seems that I will always be.
Real life is just hard, ya know?
and transitions rock your world upside down and backwards
....thank goodness for LDC retreat ALL DAY TODAY!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I love post

I love music
I love LDC
I love sister companions
I love Nauvoo memories
I love love
I love my mom
I love outside
I love the changing colors
I love life
I love what the future will bring
I love the blue sky
I love the crisp air in the morning and warm beating down on the sun later in the day
I love country love songs
I love cute texts
I love my friends
I love my cousins
I love my family
I love wholesome movies
I love life changing institute lessons
I love devotionals
I love this church
I love this gospel
I love joy
I love happiness
I love the lessons learned from trials
I love reading a good book for homework
I actually like math ;)
I love food
I love talking for hours
I love laughing
I love kissing
I love hugging
I love holding hands
I love a boy that I've been dating for almost two years
I love quotes
I love the book of Mormon
I love the women of the scriptures and what they stood for
I love hanging out
I love giving back-scratches
I love driving up in the canyon
I love riding my bike
I love life
I love how God is in our every day lives
I love people who stand up for who they are
I love learning
I love love love life!(Looking out over Nauvoo, two days before leaving my home away from home. I learned more about myself and who I am than I ever will again.)

Friday, September 9, 2011

The important things in life start here:

Move, Learn, Eat
what about life could be better? All we need is a 4th video titled "Religion or Gospel"

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Nauvoo Part 2: Traveling

Well I said this blog post would be about the traveling but nothing terribly exciting happened during the time when I left Salt Lake City to the time that we arrived in Nauvoo...except...
One of the Elders didn't know I was in the stage performers
My nose was acting up so much that I could barely breathe on the plane
The humidity hit, and it hit hard. Once again nose drizzles.
We were thrown into massive amounts of music, words, and blocking.
Lugging my 50 pound bag up unnaturally made steps.
Feeling inadequate, unworthy, or unsure of why I was even there
I was mad at my voice for not working while auditioning for character parts
....I was a whiner the first week I was there (until I received a letter from a particular man)
Where I ended up shouting for joy and that was the end of my mopey streak.

Traveling, easy. Climate change, hard.

Part three: The favorites of the summer (expected to be a long post accumulated over a few days)