Thursday, February 25, 2010

That red stuff is WHAT?

Today I'm giving blood
my blood
the blue underneath veins, red above the skin, blood.
for the first time in my life.
I'm a little apprehensive to go through with it, but I have said I will do it
I'll do it.
As much as it scares the crap out of me, it can't be that bad...right?
It's just a needle piercing your flesh for a momentary second, unless they miss your vein and have to do the agonizing poke again, and again.
But then again, they are trained to do this, so they probably won't miss. Hopefully. I think that I can only get myself prepared once for that prick. Maybe i'm being a little dramatic, but I'm seriously terrified for today at 4pm. (that's when it's happening)
I may be scarred for life, or I may be just fine
(I'm hoping for the "just fine"

On a side note, I was told that I need to drink lots of water and eat healthy for today..
I have been doing this ever since the start of the new year, but for safe measure I have been consuming two times as much as water as I usually do. I have already been through 30 oz of water and its not even noon yet, do you think that's enough? Let's say I have had to get a couple time during study in the library to use the facilities, i hope they actually take my blood and it helps someone become I may be on the verge of becoming water logged.

Monday, February 22, 2010


I feel a little stuck. Not in all aspects of life, but just school. This is ridiculous! I am not in my third year of school and just finishing credits for my associates university studies. I don't know what I want to do with my life still and I'm lazy and don't really want to delve into anything. Because what if I don't like it? What if I get into even more debt for lack of not knowing what to major in. Ugh. I wish sometimes that I could go back a few years, have an older sibling and watch them do what they were supposed to do, so that I would know what I was supposed to take AP classes or college courses in high school. But no looking back now, right? I guess i'm just mad at myself for not taking school very seriously these past couple years. I have gotten into the same rut that I got myself into in high school. Where I see the easy way out, that really won't do me any good. This is the big leagues now Brianna, can't you see that?
Apparently not, because you're still slacking off and still in the rut of you don't want to do anything in your life. I think i just need a week where I look around at jobs and really decide something. I'm going to give myself a time limit. I think that by the end of March 2010 I am going to decide what I am majoring in and go for it. And if it turns out I don't like it, i'll look to my second pick and go for that. well here's to finding out what to be in life...What do I want to be when I grow up...?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Early Mornings

I think that I have fallen in love with waking up early. Earlier than I actually need to, on most days. I sometimes just lay in my bed, take a nice long stretch, breathe a nice big breath and literally try and jump out of bed...(which most of the time fails miserable and that usually sets in stone how my day is going to go) I then rush down stairs and make breakfast, go to Curves with my mom, or go running for the 5k that i'm training ( I actually coped out of running yesterday was too cold...lame excuse I know. I just get to make it up. Yay!)
And then get ready for the day, yesterday I hardly got ready for the day.
I was wearing a red undershirt under a white wifebeater underneath a red flowing wrap. I had my hair very simply curled pulled back away from my face with a white headband...I'm not trying to be conceited, but i've never gotten so many compliments in my life. Seriously?!? I just don't have to try and then guys will notice and talk to you? Weird...
I also love mornings because the sun isn't quite up all the way yet so you can see what the world is really like. Not too many cars on the road, and the world just seems an ounce tad quiter for the few last seconds of dawn time. I like it, so I like waking up early. And I think everyone should intentionally try it once or twice and soon realize that it's nice having a few hours before school to have to yourself and just relax. The day seems to go a little bit smoother and things that would normally irritate, slide right off the shoulder. Yay for little tender mercies.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I need a little advice

I have been thinking the last couple days,
a little self discovery
The small amount of readers I need a little bit of advice and your complete honest opinion of something to do with me.
I would like to know

Do you think I live my life through the opinions of others that shouldn't have such an opinion on my life?
Do you think I care too much about what people think about things I do, say, or wear or even people I date?

I need non sugar- coated answers if there are some... So yea