Monday, January 28, 2013


No, just been working hard.
Recently Matt had some short comings at work which meant I needed to gain a few extra hours at my job.
I also took on a 8-12 hr a week tutoring job at a local high school two times a week and taking 15 credits at school, while preparing mentally for the possibility at a teaching internship this fall (SAY WHAT?!?!)
So I'm not long gone, just extremely busy.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Catch my Breath

Sometimes music speaks louder than words...
...sometimes the lyrics in the song speak louder than I could have written myself. 

"Catch My Breath"
Sung by Kelly Clarkson

P.S. Today has been a much better day. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Brianna and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

In short----
My day today could be classified under the
 "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," column
... if there was one in life. 
It's started out with one of my best friends being mad sad at me
For being honest.
It middled (yes new word written, if Shakespeare can do it, so can I) on the friend continuing to be mad sad at me through text
I talked to my husband. I cried on his shoulder. I talked with another friend. I cried some more.
I've come to the conclusion that I just care...TOO...MUCH about people. 
I have too soft of a heart.
Maybe I should just grow up and not be nice, not be kind, not be honest and trustworthy.
I feel it's brought more pain than happiness... :(
(That's not actually true, i'm just being hysterical)
heart standing w shadow

I have a heart which doesn't like confrontation, I abhor confrontation. 
I hate being the bad guy, so i'll take the hit instead. 
So much so that I will take the blame for everything, even if it isn't my fault.

I've been doing that a lot lately and my psyche has  been suffering for it.
Continuing on with my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...
I go to work.
My phone dies. 
Luckily my mom came in and gave me a hug.
I drop off the deposit after we close.
A police man pulls me over. In my driveway. 
I cry in the seat while he takes my information.
It takes 20 minutes.
I get a warning to fix my headlight and I drive into my parking spot and sit and cry.
I cry as I walk up the stairs. 
I cry as I unlock the door.
I cry as I undress and make my way into the shower.
I cry as the water falls on my head.
"This day..." I say to myself, "has been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day indeed.."
Good thing tomorrow is a brand new day. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Monday, January 14, 2013

My Happiness

My happiness is not defined by what others think of me. 
My happiness is not dependent on what others think they see.
 My happiness should not be ruled by what I assume others are thinking.
My happiness should not care of other's opinions.
My happiness will not be bullied.
My happiness will not be manipulated.
My happiness is mine to control.
My happiness is mine and mine alone. 
My happiness is not other's happiness...
What makes me happy doesn't need to make someone else happy.
My happiness should not be dependent on another's decisions.
My happiness is mine.
My happiness has to be mine.
My happiness...
Cannot be possessed.
Cannot be ruled.
Cannot be taken.
Cannot be touched...
without my consent.
Why do I care so much about what one person thinks?
It's my happiness, isn't it?

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


I often find myself surprised at what God has planned for me. He has a way of making life bearable and continually flow like clock work.

I often find myself engaged in interesting thoughts; thoughts which are not anything new but I think about them. Like today, a few thoughts were running through my head such as:

Have you ever thought about how it is amazing that we can learn to read?
Have you ever thought about how amazing it is that we can learn to speak?
Have you ever though about the people who developed the alphabet?
Or the first time they wrote down a sound?
Have you ever thought about how amazing it is to have indoor plumbing, to have the bus system, to have cars?!? 
Have you ever thought about how industrious we are as a human people?
Have you ever thought about the vastness that surrounds the earth? 
Or the stars and planets that keep expanding the universe to more than we ever thought possible?
Have you ever thought about the clothes you have in your closet, which ones have you not worn in weeks? Months? Years? Could you put the clutter to better use?
Have you ever thought that nothing that happens in your life is coincidence? 

I don't think God works with fate, destiny, or with coincidence. 

For instance, this last week has been any interesting one. Filled with new opportunities, unexpected ones, and undesired change. 
Last Thursday Matt was fired from his job. 
His boss, who's name we'll call; Goop is not a very nice person. 
Matt did all he needed to. He was approved. Goop went on a power trip and docked him unfairly, resulting in his termination. 
Matt is now without a job.
On Monday our car decides to die in the Smith's parking lot in Provo. Battery won't start. I have no jumper cables. 
A nice lady helps me jump the car and I drive it right away to a car doctor. 
Now we're out of a car.
Matt doesn't have work...could that have happened at a better time?
Car gets fixed quickly, fan belt gets replaced and the car purrs with a cat being fed a half open can of tuna. 
My classes start at UVU.
I come home and I can't stop talking about them. 
I felt and feel like a young child on their first day of class, eager and ready for learning. Learning everything there is to learn about teaching, teaching other children. 
I'm a child at heart. 
Maybe THAT's why God has lead me to this profession. 
Maybe THAT's one reason Matt lost his job, so he has the opportunity to find a better one.
Maybe THAT's why I think these crazy thoughts.

Do I have answer to any of those questions? No. 
Did this blog post really have a map to follow? No. 
It's ok. Writing is Good. Writing is Therapeutic. Writing is what I need to do sometimes. 
Thanks for listening. 
One last question:
Have I ever thought that I could actually be good at drawing?
 Yes I Have. 

Monday, January 7, 2013

I love life.

Today I started my second semester as a Junior in the Elementary Ed program. 
The first two professors that we have met have been awesome!
They seem sure of themselves, organized, and ready to teach us all they know and have learned being teachers themselves through the years.

Today our car battery went out in the middle of the gas filling up our car. 
A nice lady took a few minutes out of her day to help me jump start it so I could get it to a car shop. 
They found that the fan belt, which we have been needing to get fixed ..needed desperate repair. 
We had the money from the car we sold a few months ago. 

Today I had quite a few moment to sit and ponder, walk and think, and listen to the humming of the world around me. 
It was nice.
It was quite.
It was cold, but I didn't feel it. 

I love being put in my place, because I can then be pushed to be better.
I love being shown something deeper and made to understand something I didn't look for initially. 
I love new year's resolutions because they give me an opportunity to grow, be a better human being, and good member of society. 

I love life even when it's hard. 
I love life even when it's challenging.
I love life even when we don't exactly know how everything is going to turn out.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Our Christmas Time: 2 weeks late

I realized that I hadn't posted about Christmas yet...How silly of me.
A horrible little me:
Twas a week before Christmas when Brianna realized
It was Matt's and I's first Christmas
'That came as a surprise!"
Brianna ran to the computer to find but one ornament to signify this time.
She found one adorned with cute penguins all covered in blue, 
she then knew she had found what would help make Christmas true.
 Earlier in the month Brianna had tried to rectify a 15 year fruit cake pie...minus the pie.
The recipe was said to be better than cake, better than licorice, and much better than Severus Snape.
The recipe took but 4 hours to make. 17 pounds of fruit of the cake.
 Soon their first tree was hung with lights and tool,
to stand above the presents all wrapped in gold and blue.
 Christmas Eve approached but too quickly as Brianna's mom came over,
To have pizza with soda and play some Life 10 ten times over.

 To help Santa out the Call's filled up their "sleigh" and herded down to Payson to help the Jolly old fellow.
 One More day till Santa came, but no clatter came this year. 
With the help of 4 little elves, everything was put into place, ready for the joy and excitement of Christmas day.

 The elves said "Goodnight" and fell off to sleep, only to be woken at 7am with little peeps.
 The gifts were surprising, the gifts were incredible, Matt sure spoiled me rotten and I he.
To remember what Christmas is all about, Christ the Savior child.
I'm happy to have spent it with the man I get for always.
That star much have shone bright that cold winter night.
But just as today as our fires keep us warm, the warmth to know that the Christ child, the one to save us all was born, must have brought much warmth to the soul, many Christmas' ago.

Prep and Early Morning

There are three days left before I start my last semester of my junior classes.
Right now I'm blogging in bed with Matt sound asleep next to me, his breathing slow and steady.
     I love these mornings where the sun is gently pushing its way through the blinds, tapping me on the shoulder to let me know what time it is. I love hearing the faint clicking of the clocks throughout our apartment, and the hours before anyone really makes a sound beside the noises of getting ready and waking up. I forget these mornings exist when I'm school.
     It has been nice to wake up at 8 when Matt is headed off to school, have time to workout, read my scriptures, ponder, take a shower, THEN get ready for the day. Although I've found that I can no longer clean or organize our is spotless. So I am ready for a new semester, ready for my brain to be applied and to learn from those teachers what they know...that they know. I'm excited about school. I'm excited to see my cohort, some people more than others (Leah). I'm excited to have another whack at the 3 weeks in the classroom. I've done it once and now I know I what I can do better and what I should leave in the past.
     Just for my remembering power:
Field Work  
Do's and Don't
AND.....Enjoy what you are Doing.
I'm so kick butt for this semester, it's crazy!
Bring. It. On.
BTW: Did I tell the blogging world I got a 3.98 last semester? First in my life! 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A Period and Some Pondering

Have you read this quote?
If not, take a moment. 
Pinned Image
It seems that every time I find myself withering in pain from abdominal cramping as a result of the monthly visit from mother nature, I get into pondering molly. 
My personality goes from spontaneous free loving and fun to yoda stuck to the backside of an owl. 
I ponder. 
I sit and meditate but nothing comes to my head. 
It is as though I'm wasting time trying to think of what to do. 
It's not like I didn't do anything today:
I closed my bank account and joined mine and Matt's together
I changed my name at the bank, at school, and finally at my job
I got our car inspected and tested for another year of fantastic driving
did the dishes. 
But I still feel like I haven't accomplished anything in the slightest today.
It's one of those days that will be better in the morning, not that it was a horrible day, it was a day of "meh" 
"Meh" because I didn't apply myself
"Meh" because I didn't spend enough time with my husband
"Meh" because I didn't workout
"Meh" because I spent TOO much time on the computer watching "The office" and "Arrested Development
"Meh" because we wasted SO much of the Christmas fruit cake...we didn't give enough away
"Meh" because it's another 300 odd days till Christmas 

But tomorrow is a new day.
My period will soon be done with.
Thank goodness.
I don't like Pondering Molly Call 
She's too lazy.


A new face

So I'm trying to design our blog to be more...appetizing to the eyes... any pointers would be helpful. If not, patience as I take on this endeavor.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013


My Physical goals for 2013:
- Exercise at least 2 times a week. (3-4 would be optimal) 
-Write in my journal when I need to remember something, particularly a prompting
- Treat my body better by feeding it good wholesome foods. In doing so will provide the blessings promised to me in my patriarchal blessing. 

My Attribute goals for 2013:
- Love deeper
- Learn more patience
- See the Good in all people
- Gossip less, if not, anymore
My Spiritual goals for 2013:
-Read longer
-Ponder more
-Pray harder
 - Be confident in knowing that God is on my side and wanting to help me 
-Attend the temple often (Couple Goal)
-Read the Book of Mormon (Couple Goal)