Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Steve-irina...

Recently I have been into running, painting, cooking, reading, and creating.
Of those things, many great and wonderful things have been born. 
I have found that I love to create, I love to see the beauty that my hands, my own hands can create. 
I painted a doodle that I drew: 
I decorated a cupcake that I didn't bake:
I was innovative and created a clothes line when our dryer at our apartment complex died, and it was laundry day:
And the most yummy, I made a really good chicken:
I love chicken:
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When I wake up early enough and have time to go for my run (which I successfully ran 3.1 miles this morning) I find I have more time and the frame of mind to see the beauty that is growing all around us:



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Life is so good you guys.
Matt and I both LOVE our jobs. 
We both feel that there are so many doors opening and waiting to be opened.
We have so much promise and yearning for a good future. 
We are so blessed and so loved. 
We have so many blessings, it is hard to count them. 

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I have recently been reading a ton! 
I have loved getting to know these characters. 
The Lucy's, Susan's, Edmund's, and Peter's. Tris', Al's, and Estauce's. 
I have loved reading quickly and seeing their adventure unfold with each passing page. 

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I want to be a mom you guys. 
There is this hard and deep yearning in my heart to be a mom.
I want to be a mom so badly, it hurts, really hurts. 
Last night, I broke down. 
I cried over my want to be mom and of my fears about it possibly not happening. 
Every "what if" was running through my mind, every question without answer.
I have a hard time with the unknown. 
What if...pregnancy only goes as far as a miscarriage?
What if...we don't get pregnant for years?
What if...a pregnancy results in an ectopic baby?
What if... if I never have my own children?
What if...I am never a mom?
What if...
What if...
After a good cry, I felt better. 
Although, I think fairly, I secretly will always have those fears till I have babe in arms. 

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We bought a puppet at the summerfest on Saturday:
His name...is Steve:



While the husband was away, I made Steve-irina? Sing "Opera" 

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This is a great post my dear. My only advice for your fears is to have faith! Faith and fear can't co-exist. Have faith that even if those things happen, that Christ can bear your burdens with you and make them lighter and that it will be okay. :) And I couldn't view your movie because my computer is dumb. Next time I'm at your place, you should show it to me!