Just thoughts

For the last little while I have been thinking about if God really is there, or if he loves me as much as others.

I've had countless discussions, general conference talks, and thoughts come into my head that would suggest to me that he does hear my prayers, he does listen to my thoughts, and he loves me and is there for me.

Why then do I forget that so easily?

I find myself in a monthly rut where I don't remember why I am a good person.

I tell myself that I'm no good.

I tell myself that I could always be better but never will be.

I tell myself I'm not smart.

I tell myself that God doesn't exist. 

This happens every month and it isn't during my period.

Then I stop.

Think. 

Reorganize my thoughts.

Listen to others testimonies.

Remember who I should be listening to.

Satan has a power to tell me and entice me to think what he is saying is right...

That I am incapable

That I am not good enough

That people don't like me

That I'm silly, unwanted and no good

But why in the heavens am I listening to him?

It's like not washing your hands for a month,

they don't get cleaner..they get dirtier, cakey, and smelly

Not the best analogy.

What I mean to say is:

If I believe in God, I should never be depressed.

If I believe in God, I should never waste a moment of happiness being mad or upset.

If I believe in God, I should believe in myself because I know he believes in me. 

If I believe in God, I can do well in school.

If I believe in God, I can be a good person, because I AM a good person.

God lives. 

He does.

I know it.

I know it with every bone and muscle that is in my healthy body.

I know that he cares.

I know that he is there, listening intently.

It is my choice of whether I want to talk to him or not...

to listen to his counsel...

to do my best...

to believe that he is...

to remember what I've felt...

to remember my worth as a daughter of God...

And to never forget what I know...

God is real.

Can you feel that?

God. Is. Real. 

So real that if we put all our want and faith into believing in him, 

we will be able to see more of him in our lives.

It's miraculous isn't it? 

God. There is one. 

He is there. He is real. He believes in me. He believes in you.

Holy cow!