These last few weeks have been less than wonderful. I think for the first time in my life I really had a look into what people with depression deal with for their whole lives, and it stinks. I am so sorry if you have to battle with those painful, degrading, and just bad emotions constantly, without release.
The last couple weeks I felt down, out, and just plain sad for no reason.
I was constantly irritated with people, people who I frankly love and adore and just couldn't take their personalities for whatever reason.
I couldn't get out of bed, and when I did I felt like doing nothing but sitting and watching the new seasons of Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and The Office in my PJ's. Could I do that? No. But I did when I wasn't at work or at school.
There were times that I couldn't imagine going and facing people. Why did I have to go to work and cater to other people's needs, when my own personal ones were not being met. I was a wreck and couldn't figure out why.
With comedy on my mind, I wanted to blame it on our baby...but I knew that wasn't right. Sure it could be a composite of mommy hormones and just me being pathetic, or could be weather depression from the changing seasons.
Whatever it was, wasn't fun.
Whatever it was is gone now.
Whatever it was may come back, but for now I am paying for the days that I spent doing nothing, but it's ok because I'm back on track.
Now here are some fantastic videos which I think "secretly" have helped me out of my slump, just because of the amazing happiness and grins that come across my face.
I thought it funny, but hopefully not actually what happens when I finally graduated
Last, but not least, a super cute sleepy kitty. Now I must get ready for work.
4 comments:
I have a theory on "moments of depression." They happen to me too. I think they come, even when life is good, because we need little reminds of what joy feels like. Sometimes I get sad for no reason. It happens at work a lot. I feel like nobody likes me, like I stink at my job, like I'm a bad friend, etc, etc. Then it goes away in a few days and I wonder why I felt that way. I think God programmed our bodies to experience random moments where we feel sad for no reason so that we can enjoy the times when we feel happy more. It's just my theory but it happens to me too. Glad you're feeling better. I love those movies too.
I struggled with depression and anxiety a lot both times I was pregnant or breastfeeding. You can't really compare your pregnant self to your non-pregnant self. Your brain chemistry is so vastly different. Talking to people (family/doctor) and expressing concern helps.
I felt this for about a month when I was really struggling with anxiety for the first time, and had not clue what was going on. It was scary, and I hated it, but didn't know how to change it. I am so glad you are feeling better. If you ever need to talk, please stop by! We would love it. I was so scared to tell anyone how I felt, but when I finally opened up to someone I knew had similar struggles, it was almost like I was set free...
Hormones ... screw them ... blah
Find what helps you coast through them and cling to it! You're doing great!
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