Meant to be...

I'm so heartsick. I can't seem to catch a breath fast enough before the tears come back.

I hurt inside.

I hurt because I know I messed something amazing up and I don't know if I will get it back. I hurt because I lost it because of who I am, where I am in life. Who I am not. I wasn't trying, I wasn't putting forth the effort that was needed.. so therefore, why should I get the prize? I haven't worked and now that I've lost it I want to work hard and I am working hard, but it doesn't mean i'm going to get it back.

"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?

I'm falling to pieces"

I know I have to figure things out on my own... still doesn't make it hurt any less.