My Mantra

My wonderful husband said this quote to me during a breakdown I had before starting my student teaching two weeks ago.
I was afraid, I was doubtful, and I was unsure about my ability to do well in this 11 week long experience.
He told me to just focus on the now. What did I need to do now in this moment of my life.
Taking each day at a time, each hour as it passes, and each lesson as I teach it, has calmed my nerves to the point where I am still afraid and intimidated as I drive to school, but I am happy and feel confident by the end of the day.

Keeping up with life

Time and time again I have started post after post trying to write down what is going on in my life.
I used to be good at this blogging thing, writing at least a post a week.
The posts were fun, engaging, and all-in-all about me.
I want to change that. I want to write about the things that make me, me. But also keeping in mind that certain things need to be kept with in the recesses of my heart, only for me to enjoy and those I shared it with.

There are things that should be left unwritten. 

I've also realized that I've become incredibly distant from social media.
Once spending hours (addiction material) drooling over others lives and their problems, happiness, and successes...pining over "recipes you must try", "The wardrobe you need to be you" and "the crafts that you want to do but never will have time for" on Pinterest. Spending time and more time on facebook, scrolling through statuses, photos, and "Wish I could there" posts.

Then I went to Florida for a week:
I rarely touched my phone during that glorious time with family.
All I wanted was to be around my dad, brother, husband, step-mom, and grandparents. I didn't want to stay inside and watch TV, 

I wanted to experience life and the people around me. 

It was breathtaking how much more I remember when I don't have my phone glued to my hand, or constantly beeping in my pocket.
Don't get me wrong, I want to stay in contact with people. But then again, there is a time and place for it. If we don't give our lives the chance to be changed by those around us and live for the "best picture" 'or "the most likes on facebook" we are losing the real meaning of what life gives us---these unmistakable moments that are captured in the eye of the beholder. The view that only your eyes can take in, the smells that come back to you in an instant, and the touch that only you can feel.

Again, don't get me wrong. Pictures are worth taking, they help us document our lives. But if it gets in the way of a moment that needs to be only shared between you and that one person, let it happen, let it go, and just enjoy them.

A Saturday afternoon

Someday's you plan to get enormous amounts of homework done to the background noise of Tangled.
Then suddenly you look to your right and see the snow softly cascading down around outside.
Time just stops, ears are focused on the sounds of tapping moisture hitting the vent and windows.
As the snow falls, baby boy wakes up, taking in his own surroundings within the body of mom.
She stops and thinks about how miraculous it is to have someone growing inside her.
This someone has never made an appearance into the world, never has his eyes seen the beauty of falling snow. Never has ears been able to hear the tapping of the seasons, whispering their changing days. Never has he been held in his moms arms.
A few months to go and he'll be here.
He's growing, he's moving, he's getting stronger and stronger as the days go by.
It's miraculous what thoughts can emerge when one leaves all plans to pause and just take in the quiet still of A Saturday afternoon.

Happy Birthday Matt

Yesterday was my husband's 25th birthday.
If he had 100 jelly beans, he would have eaten 25 of them.
If he was born a day later, he would still be 25.
I don't know here I'm going with this.
Basically, I am SO grateful he was born to his parents 25 years ago and now I had the opporutnity of being married to him and get to over-the-charts spoil him, at least, once a year.

This year we decided to go to dinner at La Jolla Groves, down in Riverwoods, where I presented him with a few Cd's he had been wanting and the new stars trek movie!
The food was delicious, as was the company.

 We get this bruchetta everytime, and as Matt says "This food fills me with Joy!"

 The CUTEST birthday boy around, man he is dashing, isn't he?

 The lovely cake, box cake is the best!

 We invited some friends of our, The Bellamy's, to come and play a new game Matt received for his birthday. It was SO much fun. We may or not have stayed up playing another round until 2am. 

Thanks Bellamy's! 

A wonderful light show all for my husband who deserves all the happiness every year of his life. 

Happy birthday darling man, can't wait to celebrate every year of your birthday and life.
You are so special and such a wonderful individual and teach me things every. single. day. without fail.

Happy Birthday Handsome. 

Progress...so far.

18 weeks 

 20 weeks 

21 weeks 

All About Me Date

A few weeks ago I was feeling "down and out" about everything, so Matt decided to plan a day doing things only I wanted to do.
I went along with it, hoping it would cheer my mood and get me out of the slump I had written about previously.
Basically, we went and shot stuff, because that's what we do :)

Heading onto the freeway

Cruising down towards Silver City, Utah.

Matt setting up targets

The beasty guns

There were some really fun structures around, that kind of *nerd moment* had a Star Wars Cantina feel

Matt's grandmother's gun, which I have fallen in love. I'm a pretty good shot, not to brag or anything.

Ear Protection is a must, as is shooting with your love.

That is pure concentration people

 This is the exit wound. 

 It was a wonderful day, full o bullets, time with my husband, and just forgetting about all that needed to be done. I'm so glad that Matt had the intuition to know I needed a break, with just him and I. This was a much needed Stay-cation. Love him.