Overwhelmed: 10 min waste of time

I'm having one of those days where you think of everything at the same time that you need to get done within your life or within the next two years and you start freaking out and wondering how the heck in the world you're going to manage. Then, as you're sitting in your health for teachers class they are going over how to write lessons plans and your heart starts to tense up and you have no idea how you are going to accomplish writing 300 or more lesson plans by the time you are out of the program, which starts in the fall. Then you end up crying buckets and buckets on the way of home from school and calling your poor father who has to listen to you blabber about how many students loans you have, before you are entering marriage, how many years you have wasted on schooling when you had no idea what you wanted to do and now you're going to school on whim which you thought was an impression from the spirit but you're not sure anymore, because everyone who is around you in your classes seems more qualified or more into it. While you spent all of high school doing nothing, and everything that wasn't studying so you didn't get to go to the school you wanted and now you don't want to spend the time trying to get there any more because it wouldn't be worth the time and the energy. But then you realize that you are a lazy butt girl who doesn't know what she wants and has been spoiled for her whole life and therefore doesn't know how to take care of herself or others around her. Then someone says that you are role model when that is the last thing you are, because of all the horrible mistakes you have made which you are still dealing with and they still effect other people. Then you realize that you are so unorganized that you can't remember what assignment is due and you don't want to take the time to organize yourself but would rather spend 10 minutes of your precious day blogging about everything and anything that you can't change.