Randomness is a past time I like to partake in

My mind is like Mystery Google.
If you have never used Mystery Google it is a thing to behold. You type something in and you the answer you get is the question that the person before you, somewhere in the world, typed before you. You never know the kind of things that will come up. Questions ranging from, "What if zombies ruled the world" to "How to zip your pants with your toes" (No joke, i got that one once) But that's beside the point. The point is that my mind sometimes comes up with these random out of the blue questions that surprise the people i'm talking with and on occasion surprise myself with them.
I guess that paragraph in itself was a "Mystery Google" type of tangent. That had no real significance to what i am actually wanting to write about.

I work out at Curves. Yes that place that you only see women above the age of 40 enter into. Yes, that is my gym. I worked there for about year and have been going ever since. But one day this week while I was working out (super hard ya, know) I looked around at the different ages of women who were in the room. The ranged from my age of 21 up to 84! And I realized that some days I don't think about how long these ladies had actually lived. I wasn't thinking about the things the had accomplished. In that moment, for whatever reason, I thought that everyone was in the same stage as me. That they didn't know what they were doing with their life, they may be dating or married but had some of the same doubts as me. They have lived much longer and I feel like sometimes people my age, including myself, sometimes forget about the people who are all around and the vast wisdom the possess. Because in reality, they are MUCH older, and I can't even fathom being that old in the near future. And I won't be. It takes a long time to get to that age. To get to a place where you are happy with yourself inside and out. Life is the longest thing we do. Besides marriage.
That's another thing. A lot of my friends have been getting engaged and been married or are getting married in the VERY near future. Some having had very long engagements/courting and others who met the person and were engaged 2 weeks later. I guess it just happens for some people. What if i am one of those people who wants to take as much as I can to get to know the person I could marry, see their imperfections, see the REAL them. Get past the infatuation phase so that I can see clearly and not have the rose colored glasses blaring in my eyes? Is that so wrong? Sometimes I get the feeling from people, that it is. And then there are others who say that waiting till your 30 to get married is the "way to go". What if i'm one of those people who wants to have a family by the time she is 3o. hmmm. Not sure that goes hand in hand waiting till 30. That was off the subject. But what I'm trying to get at, is that marriage is the 2nd to longest thing will ever do, next to life being the longest. That's a big, big, big deal! that's a huge decision. Maybe I have commitment issues.. does it sound like I do. No, it just sounds like some random rambling on my part that I decided to write while i was bored one day. But anyway, marriage is a big decision and i want to choose right. I have a hard time with just jumping in and seeing if something this big in my life would "possibly" work. My parents jumped into it fast and I have a few friends who jumped into it fast and they are no longer married. I think my perception of marriage is a bit muddled and scarred. But i'm trying to get over it.
I love going to weddings and receptions and seeing the light the couple has in their eyes while looking at each other. I think it is the sweetest thing ever. I hope to have that one day, someday, in the future. (Not the near future though) :)

So that's my little ramble, haha. Haven't done that for awhile. It was quite scatterbrained too. I apologize.