As we all know it is the start of new year, well actually we are 6 days and counting into the new year. I have recently moved home and I don't have internet there. So i haven't had the ability to write about my life in a narcissistic way in which all I do is talk about myself and what is going in my life..always, to about two people maybe three on a good day. Well at least they want to hear my rambles or not so make sense sentences (that was a perfect example). Anyway...that was frightfully off topic, reverting back to previous topic...3...2...1.
Start of the new year, start of a new decade. Holy cheese wiz!!! i can't believe how much has happened in this last year, or this last decade. I can't believe how old I am. 20...and soon to be turning 21! What!?! That's what old people do, or that's what I used to think old people did.. that was until i became an "old" person. Which in retrospect, i'm really not THAT old. But that's besides the point, alot has happened. But this blog isn't about what has happened but what I want to happen in the next 10 years, or maybe knock it down to a more desirable and easier to understand and put forth effort to accomplish, one year. 2010.
2010. Wow.
I want to be able to find myself this year, so understand who I really am and be able to have the confidence to proclaim it to the world. Well maybe not proclaim, but possibly yell or shout a little louder than the almost unheard peeps that usually come forth from my mouth. I would like to be able to have a stronger testimony in the gospel and not be ashamed of it, I feel like I have to catch myself when I'm about to the feel the spirit, because I'm running the risk of crying (if you didn't know, i have very large tear ducts, i cry in everything..usually when i'm alone though) So i have to get over the crying phobia that i have given myself. I want to be able to discern between what is best for me and what is good and what is definitely bad and wrong. I learned alot from this previous year, alot about myself and not making choices just because someone else thinks its ok. that's not ok, when you feel it isn't ok. I run my life. That too, i want to know that I have complete control of my life (but when you lose your job, move home, and are broke from school you feel like you have not one ounce of control in your life) I want to feel independent while being able to accept help from my parents when they are willing to give it to me. I need to be for gracious and deserving of their love. I hope that I can be more grateful for the people in my life and not hurt them in ways that I have in previous years. And if you are someone that me and you haven't talked in awhile, we should get together and rekindle that old friendship that we had, because I don't want to lose you in the little things of life. You're all I have along with my family that mean so much to me. So there, here we go 2010. bring it on. :)
1 comment:
I don't know if this has anything to do with what you were writing about, but I'd like to say that one thing I have come to embrace is that while there are many things we cannot control, the thing we can control is the way we feel about it. Obviously, one's heard that over and over again. But I feel that because I can control my feelings and how I act about certain things, I have all the control in the world. It's rather lovely.
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