It's summer and school is fast approaching.
We haven't done much this summer; visited St. George, went swimming a couple times, and watched a ton of Netflix.
It has been so hot here that it feels like we live in the pit of hell somewhere.
I am ready and not ready for school to start. I keep going back to school to work on little things that I can be in control of.
Here at home, I feel bad for Mr. M. He has such a hard time with the small things.
I try to tell him that everyone has something, but I know it still gets him down from time to time.
Brain injuries are hard knock in life.

Little C. is full swing toddler with more energy that we can fit into a day. It's back and forth, chasing and whaling. Jumping and throwing. Yelling and screaming "hi". His vocabulary is expanding everyday thanks to starfall, books, and different shows on Netflix.

Currently reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" I'm convinced I'm going to read through all 100 books on Time's "Most influential books". This book is #1.

I love my job. I love teaching and I am SO excited to go to training and learn more about where I work. I have almost all of the bulletin boards covered and ready to go. I just need to finish the ones out in the hall. I'm thinking a teen titans or avengers display with various cheers that are taken from school. It should be super cute, with the help of the projector as a tracing tool. I love tracing. Everyone thinks I am this awesome artist, when I merely traced, cut and glued.

I got a breast exam the other day. I had a small little cyst growing in my right breast, but they are more than 90% sure it isn't cancerous, but they want me to check back in 6 months time to see if anything changes.

Thanks all!

Understandable

It's hard when you feel like you don't understand someone, when the actions they chose to effect more than themselves. It's a partnership, don't you know it's meant to be a cohesive unit, tied together with more than tape and glue. Each moment is surrounded by a "what if", "will I be seeing you", or "I didn't realize what I did". Countless hours of fairytale immersion, which gives way to fantasy unattainable in this life. 

Each day, I love you more---each day you crawl away.
Each day, I wait for you ---each day you don't know how long I wait.
Each day, I worry, wonder, wish, support, will, and surrender.

Each day I try to understand--- 

understandably, each day, I'm not able to. 

Bogged Down

Haven't written in months, seems like years. The tapping of the keys is a friendly reminder that I can write whatever comes to my mind without a second thought. That's the thing about the internet, most of the things posted, written, or spoken of don't matter. They don't matter to you and they don't matter to me. Even me writing this post write now won't apply to anyone but me. It's an online journal, that's all it is.

I wish I was able to put on the facade of saying "everything's ok." "I'm doing fine" ...when I feel anything but that.

I'm tired.
I'm stressed.



But it's just a void that comes and goes. There's no way to describe it. Somedays I'm fine and others I'm not.

1st Day Fitness

I finished my first 33:00 workout. My body is tired but my mind is invigorated. There is a new Brianna in town and she ain't messing around.

This is the workout I completed

Questival Amazingness

 Loving the Cotopaxi Questival!!

There are people in the world that have it so much harder than I do.
I certainly am not as grateful as I should be when it comes to the blessing I have been given.
There are no real physical ailments that my family has to deal with.
My husband is healthy, my baby is healthy, and I am healthy.

I forget how much I have been given and how much time I waste wishing for my life to be different.
Why?
Why am I not content in the life I have been given, where there is so much good in it? Why am I constantly wishing for the next best thing, or the shoulda, coulda, woulda?
I have so much, I have been given so much.